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We Were on the BBC!

Here’s What We Talked About


On Friday, Caroline and I had the absolute joy of being interviewed live on BBC Radio Newcastle by the brilliant Anna Foster. And guess what? The team turned it into a podcast episode you can now listen to right here on BBC Sounds.


In just under 20 minutes, we covered so much – from how Good Girl Conditioning shows up in childhood, to why we created Good Girl Deprogramming: Teen Edition, to the kinds of pressure girls are under right now.



Here’s a little round-up of what came up…


What is Good Girl Conditioning?


This was one of the first things Anna asked us. And I shared what I’ve learned through years of research, writing and my own personal journey:

“From the moment they’re born, girls are taught to be nice, quiet, kind and selfless – while boys are encouraged to be bold, adventurous and loud. These messages show up in everything, from baby clothes to classroom praise.”

Girls are taught to please others before even learning how to listen to themselves. And by the time they reach adulthood, many of us are completely burned out – having spent decades performing, pleasing, and not asking for what we need.


I’ve seen it in the women I coach, and I’ve lived it myself.


Why We Wrote the Teen Edition


Caroline works closely with teenagers, and she sees first-hand how early these patterns start.

“So many girls come to us completely exhausted. They’re holding themselves to impossible standards – across appearance, grades, friendships, everything. And no matter what they do, it never feels like enough.”

We both realised: what if we could reach girls earlier? What if we gave them language, tools and support before they hit burnout?


That’s exactly why we created Good Girl Deprogramming: Teen Edition – a beautifully illustrated, practical, honest workbook for girls aged 10–14. It helps them name what’s going on, trust themselves, and start letting go of the pressure to be perfect.


And because we know that change happens in relationships, the book also comes with a free 80+ page downloadable Caregiver Guide, written to support the grown-ups doing this work alongside them – parents, carers, teachers, mentors, all of us.


On Shoulding, Shame & Self-Worth


We talked a lot about the inner pressure girls carry – and how it often shows up as “shoulds”:

  • I should be thinner

  • I should study more

  • I should be nicer

  • I should be the best


Caroline calls it the “Should Monster” – and it’s everywhere. One of the key messages in the book is that your worth isn’t something you earn. You are already enough – messy, growing, uncertain, and enough.


And Yes – It’s Not Too Late


One of the things Anna asked was whether it’s too late for those of us who are no longer teenagers.


Here’s what I said:

“The best time to plant an oak tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is today.”

Even if you’re a grown woman who’s spent a lifetime people-pleasing, it’s never too late to start unlearning. The beauty of doing this work with the young people we care about is that we get to heal alongside them.


Want to Listen?


You can catch the full interview on BBC Sounds. It’s 19 minutes of honesty, hope and big-hearted conversation – about where these patterns come from, and how we start to shift them.


Huge thanks to Anna, Laura, Harry and the whole BBC Radio Newcastle team for holding space for such an important topic.


📚 Get the Book


Good Girl Deprogramming: Teen Edition is out now – in all the usual places.


It’s for the girls growing up in a world full of pressure, and for the adults walking alongside them.


If you want to help a young person trust herself, speak up, and unlearn the pressure to be perfect – this book is for you.



If you don’t want me writing on your copy, you can get it:

Thanks so much for being part of this journey.

With love,

Michelle x


 
 
 

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