Pleasure, self-love and desire coaching.
Yes, really. No, I won’t judge you.
Power, presence, and permission to want more.
You learned how to be useful, reliable and accommodating. Nobody taught you how to want.
So here's a question nobody ever asked you: what do you want?
Founding rate available while I complete my VITA coaching certification
What it’s actually like to work with me
No judgement. None.
Nothing you tell me will shock me, and nothing you want is too much. You can say the thing you've never said out loud.
You’ll laugh
Serious work doesn't have to be solemn. Most women are surprised by how much we giggle. It turns out shame hates a good laugh.
Wisdom, not scripts
22 years of psychology behind every conversation, and no rules about who you should be. You lead. I've got you.
Does any of this sound familiar?
If you're nodding, hello. You're in exactly the right place.
“I don’t really know what I want.”
“I live entirely in my head.”
“I can look after everyone except me.”
“Sex is something I think I should want more.”
“The minute I put myself first, I feel selfish.”
“I’m successful. And I feel numb.”
You’re not broken, frigid, selfish or "too much".
You're simply carrying years of conditioning about what a woman is allowed to need, want and enjoy.
And those patterns can be unlearned.
Ideally with a few laughs along the way.
Where this takes you
Not a new set of rules to be good at. A different way of being with yourself.
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From “I don’t know what I want” to “I know, and I ask for it.”
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From living in your head to living in your body.
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From pleasure as a reward you have to earn to pleasure as your birthright.
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From guilty every time you say no to no as a complete sentence.
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From useful to radiant.
Why you can’t think your way out of this
So much of your Good Girl conditioning started before you had words. Before you could push back. Before you even knew there was anything to push against. And it's been reinforced every day since.
That's why reading another book only gets you so far. (And I say that as someone who's written two.) You can see the rules perfectly clearly and still feel them in your body every single day.
So the body has to be part of the work. Not just the mind.
And let's be honest about who benefits from you staying disconnected. A woman who is radiant and madly in love with herself stops performing. She stops handing over endless free emotional, domestic and professional labour to keep everyone else comfortable.
That is not an accident. It is the system working exactly as designed.
Pleasure is not a nice-to-have.
It is your birthright.
What we work on together
Self-love
Not bubble baths. (Although I bloody love a good bubble bath.)
Not pretending you adore every inch of yourself every day, either.
A relationship with yourself where your worth doesn't depend on how useful, pleasing, productive or desirable you are to anyone else.
Pleasure
Rest, food, touch, beauty, movement and, yes, self-pleasure. Learning what actually feels good to you, without shame, performance or a script written by someone else.
Because pleasure isn't the reward you get once everything else is done. It's what makes everything else worth doing.
Desire
Your wanting, in every area of your life: your body, your career or business, your money, your relationships, menopause and midlife, and how much power you let yourself take up in the world.
Getting back in touch with it, trusting it, and letting it lead.
This work is for women only, and it's about your relationship with yourself.
You don't need a partner to do this work. I don't offer couples or relationship coaching.
How it works
1
A first conversation
A free 30-minute chat to see whether we're a good fit.
No pressure, no hard sell.
2
Sessions
90-minute sessions, always online, so you can do this from wherever feels safest. A blend of tools, coaching conversation and somatic practices that work with your body, not just your thinking. Each session ends with something small to try before the next, because the change happens in the integration, in your actual life.
3
Your pace, your consent
You choose what we explore and when. There's no nudity, and every practice is explicitly invitational. You can decline anything without explaining why. No is always a complete answer.
Hi, I’m Michelle
I've been a Chartered Organisational Psychologist for 22 years. I've written two books, Good Girl Deprogramming and Good Girl Deprogramming: Teen Edition, and I created the Good Girl Deprogramming® framework and an award-winning programme for women.
My work on Good Girl conditioning kept bringing me back to the same question: how much of it lives in our bodies, not just our heads? Then a friend handed me Regena Thomashauer's Pussy: A Reclamation, and I loved every word. When an email about Layla Martin's VITA training arrived, I had a whole-body fuck yes. It felt less like a pivot and more like the next layer of the work.
I don't just teach this. I live it. I give a lot to the people I love, and I don't abandon myself to do it. That took practice. It's exactly what we'll practise together.
I'm now a VITA love, sex and relationship coach in training, which is why you can work with me at a founding rate right now.
Coaching isn't therapy. If you're working through sexual trauma or a medical concern, I'll help you find the right specialist alongside, or instead of, our work.
Founding rate
While I complete my VITA certification hours, I'm offering a limited number of places at half my standard rate. When they're gone, they're gone.
You get exactly the same 90-minute sessions described above. The lower rate simply reflects that I'm completing my certification hours. Most women start with five.
Questions you might be too polite to ask...
Who is this for?
Women aged 18 and over who grew up as girls. Whether you run a business, a team, a household or all three.
Will it be awkward?
Probably, for about five minutes. That's the conditioning talking. After that, most women can't believe they waited this long.
Do I have to talk about sex?
No. We work with whatever feels relevant to you. Pleasure and desire can include sex, but they're much bigger than that.
What actually happens in a somatic practice?
Usually something very simple. Noticing your breath. Noticing where you tense up when you imagine saying no. Pausing to ask, “What would feel good right now?” and seeing what your body
says. Nothing weird, and you're always fully clothed.
Do I need to be in a relationship?
No. This is about your relationship with yourself. Which, frankly, is the one that's been neglected longest.
Is this therapy?
No, it's coaching. I'm a work psychologist, not a clinical one, and I'll always tell you if something needs a different kind of support.
Is it confidential?
Yes. Obviously.