GOOD GIRL DEPROGRAMMING
The book! OUT NOW!!!
Are you tired of constantly trying to be 'perfect'?
Do you feel like you're constantly being controlled by societal expectations and norms?
In 'Good Girl Deprogramming', Michelle dives into the insidious ways in which women and girls are coerced into conforming to a narrow set of behaviours and attitudes and how we can break free from these constraints.
Through compelling personal stories and research, this book offers a fresh perspective on the pervasive effects of coercive control on women's lives. It provides practical strategies for reclaiming your agency, discovering your true self, and embracing your 'bad' side.
Join the movement and learn to misbehave with 'Good Girl Deprogramming' - a must-read for anyone seeking to break free from the limitations of societal expectations and live life on their own terms.
WHAT IS 'GOOD GIRL' CONDITIONING?
"Good girl" conditioning is a term that is often used to describe a set of societal expectations and norms that are imposed on girls and women. It refers to the idea that girls and women are expected to be compliant, and polite, and to prioritise the needs and wants of others over their own. This conditioning can manifest in many ways, including:
BEING TAUGHT TO PRIORITISE THE NEEDS AND WANTS OF OTHERS OVER THEIR OWN
Girls and women are often taught to put the needs and wants of others before their own, which can lead to feelings of neglect or resentment.
BEING TRAINED TO BE COMPLIANT AND NOT SPEAK UP FOR THEMSELVES
Girls and women are often taught to be quiet and go along with what others want, making it difficult for them to assert themselves and speak up for their own needs.
BEING CONDITIONED TO BE POLITE AND NOT EXPRESS ANGER OR AGGRESSION
Girls and women are often taught that it is not acceptable to express anger or aggression, which can make it difficult for them to assert themselves and advocate for their own needs.
BEING FORCED TO CONFORM TO TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES AND EXPECTATIONS
Girls and women are often expected to conform to traditional gender roles, such as being nurturing and caregiving, which can limit their opportunities and aspirations.
BEING EDUCATED INTO BELIEVING THAT THEIR WORTH AND VALUE ARE BASED ON THEIR APPEARANCE AND SEXUAL ATTRACTIVENESS
Girls and women are often taught that their worth and value are based on their physical appearance and sexual attractiveness, which can lead to body image issues, low self-esteem and self-worth.
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HOW DOES SOCIETY KEEP US BEHAVING?
For centuries, society has given men more power than women, granting them permission to dominate and control their female partners and entitlement to get what they want from a woman. So, let's look at how society keeps us all being Good Girls.
Coercive control is a form of abuse where the perpetrator uses various tactics to maintain power and control. These tactics can include isolating the victim from friends and family, monitoring their activities, manipulating their emotions, and instilling fear and dependency.
Society can be the perpetrator of coercive control by enforcing gender roles, societal norms, and expectations restricting individual freedom and agency.
Albert Biderman was a sociologist who studied coercive control and developed the "Chart of Coercion," which outlines the methods used to break a person's resistance and enforce compliance, such as inducing debility, exploiting weaknesses, and demonstrating omnipotence.
Biderman's work sheds light on the tactics employed by perpetrators and highlights the importance of recognising and challenging coercive control dynamics in relationships and society.
The tools of coercion below are based on Biderman's work.
TOOLS OF ISOLATION AND DEPENDENCE
ESTABLISHING TRUST
To get us to ‘play along’
SOCIAL ISOLATION
To keep us apart from others
CONTROL OF INFORMATION
To keep our attention on ourselves and our faults
TOOLS OF MENTAL AND PHYSICAL EXHAUSTION
STRATEGIC EXHAUSTION
To weaken our mental and physical ability to resist
EVER-SHIFTING REQUIREMENTS
To develop a habit of compliance
INCENTIVES AND SELECTIVE REWARDS
To provide positive motivation for compliance
TOOLS OF FEAR, MANIPULATION AND ABUSE
POWER AND DOMINATION
To make resistance seem futile
THREATS
To cultivate anxiety and despair
WEAPONISED SHAME AND DEGRADATION
To make the cost of resistance damaging
