MICHELLE MINNIKIN | CHARTERED ORGANISATIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST & AUTHOR
You've spent your whole life learning to be a Good Girl.
How's that working out for you?
Be nice. Work hard. Don't be difficult. Put everyone else first. Smile. Achieve. Be grateful. And, whatever you do, don't ask for too much.
Sound familiar?
I'm Michelle Minnikin, creator of Good Girl Deprogramming®.
I help women recognise the conditioning that's taught them to be agreeable, accommodating and endlessly useful, so they can stop living by everyone else's rules and start making their own.
THE PROBLEM ISN'T THAT YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
It's that you've been taught to be good at your own expense.
You're the woman everyone can rely on.
The one who gets things done. Who remembers the birthdays, manages the emotions, smooths over the awkwardness and somehow finds a way to fit everyone else's needs into her already ridiculous schedule.
You're capable. Accomplished. Considerate. Resilient.
And quite possibly fucking exhausted.
You say yes when you mean no. You apologise when you haven't done anything wrong. You feel guilty for resting, uncomfortable asking for help and strangely selfish whenever you prioritise something you actually want.
And even though you know, intellectually, that you don't have to live like this, knowing and doing are two very different things.
Because this isn't just about setting better boundaries or learning to be more confident.
It's about a lifetime of conditioning that has taught you to measure your worth by how useful, likeable, selfless and successful you can be.
What if you stopped trying to become a better version of the Good Girl and started questioning why you were expected to be one in the first place?
That's where Good Girl Deprogramming® begins.
GOOD GIRL DEPROGRAMMING®
You can't change the rules you don't realise you're following.
Nobody handed you a rulebook when you were born.
But somewhere along the way, you learned what it meant to be a good girl.
Be polite. Don't make a fuss. Don't be bossy. Don't be selfish. Don't disappoint people. Don't get too big for your boots.
Different women learn different versions of these rules. But they can influence everything from our careers and relationships to our boundaries, ambitions and sense of who we're allowed to be.
Good Girl Deprogramming® brings together psychology, feminist thinking and practical educational experiences to help you understand how those expectations have shaped your life.
Not so you can replace one set of rules with another.
Not so you can become the loudest woman in every room, cut everyone out of your life or reinvent yourself overnight.
But so you can recognise which expectations you've inherited, question the ones that no longer serve you and begin making choices that reflect what you actually want.
Because being a good person and being a Good Girl are not the same thing.
MORE THAN A MINDSET SHIFT
Understanding the conditioning is one thing. Learning how to live differently is another.
You've probably read the books. Listened to the podcasts. Saved the posts about boundaries, people-pleasing and learning to put yourself first.
You might even be able to explain exactly why you behave the way you do.
And yet, when someone asks you to do something you don't want to do, that familiar yes still comes flying out of your mouth.
Sound about right?
Good Girl Deprogramming® goes beyond telling women to be more confident or simply say no.
My work combines psychological understanding, critical reflection and practical learning to explore how deeply ingrained expectations influence our choices and what it takes to begin changing our relationship with them.
Through my writing, programmes and educational experiences, I help women explore the rules they've internalised, recognise how those rules influence everyday decisions and experiment with new ways of responding.
This isn't about becoming fearless, perfectly boundaried or permanently immune to other people's opinions.
It's about developing greater awareness, choice and self-trust, one decision at a time.
You don't need another list of things you're supposed to be. You need the freedom to decide for yourself.
YOUR RULES. YOUR PACE.
Ready to start doing things differently?
There's no single right way to begin questioning a lifetime of conditioning.
You might be at the stage where you're just starting to recognise the Good Girl in yourself. Or perhaps you've understood these patterns for years and want structured support to start putting what you've learned into practice.
Wherever you're starting, there are different ways to explore this work.
01 · EXPLORE
Start with the ideas
For the woman who's beginning to recognise her conditioning.
Read the book, explore the free resources and start putting language to patterns you might have been living with for years.
Learn more about the Good Girl rules and why questioning them can be the beginning of something different.
02 · DEPROGRAMME
Go beyond understanding
For the woman who's ready to put the work into practice.
You know there are patterns you'd like to change. Now you want the tools, structure and space to start exploring what different choices might look like.
Discover my Good Girl Deprogramming® programmes and group experiences, designed to help you turn awareness into meaningful action.
03 · WORK WITH ME
Let's make it personal
For the woman looking for individual support.
Sometimes you want dedicated space to explore the particular expectations, circumstances and decisions shaping your life.
Find out more about working with me individually, the support I offer and whether we're a suitable fit.
THE WOMAN BEHIND THE DEPROGRAMMING
Hello, I'm Michelle. Psychologist, author and professional questioner of bullshit.
I'm Michelle Minnikin, a Chartered Organisational Psychologist, author and creator of Good Girl Deprogramming®.
My work explores the psychological and social conditioning that shapes women's lives, particularly the expectations that teach us to be agreeable, accommodating, self-sacrificing and endlessly responsible.
I combine my background in organisational psychology with feminist thinking and a healthy willingness to question the rules we've been told to follow.
Because understanding human behaviour is fascinating.
Understanding why so many women have been taught to abandon themselves to keep everybody else comfortable? That's a conversation I'm particularly interested in having.
Through my books, speaking, educational programmes and individual work, I help women develop the awareness and tools to question inherited expectations and make more self-directed choices.
And I believe we can take this work seriously without taking ourselves seriously every bloody minute.
THE BOOK
Good Girl Deprogramming
For every woman who's spent her life being good and is ready to find out who she is beneath all that conditioning.
From people-pleasing and perfectionism to self-silencing and the exhausting need to be everything to everyone, Good Girl Deprogramming explores the invisible rules women have inherited and how to start questioning them.
Part psychology, part personal rebellion, and a whole lot of permission to stop living by everybody else's expectations.
Read it at your own pace. Underline the bits that make you uncomfortable. Scribble in the margins. Start noticing which rules you've been following without ever consciously choosing them.
You don't need to become a better Good Girl. You get to decide who you want to be.
SPEAKING & ORGANISATIONAL WORK
Let's talk about the rules women are still expected to follow.
Women's experiences of conditioning don't exist in isolation.
They show up in our workplaces, leadership expectations, relationships, cultural norms and the way we understand ambition, responsibility and success.
As a Chartered Organisational Psychologist, author and speaker, I bring psychological insight, feminist perspectives and thought-provoking questions into conversations about the expectations shaping women's lives.
My speaking and organisational work explores subjects including Good Girl conditioning, people-pleasing, over-responsibility, women's leadership and what happens when we begin challenging the rules we've been taught to accept.
Expect substance, curiosity, practical insights and probably a few uncomfortable questions.
For conferences, organisations and event organisers looking to start a different conversation.
THE DEPROGRAMMING ROOM
A little less performing. A lot more questioning.
Come on in. You don't have to be good in here.
The Deprogramming Room is my free email space for women who are questioning the rules, examining the conditioning and becoming increasingly unwilling to organise their entire lives around keeping everybody else comfortable.
Expect psychology, personal reflections, thought-provoking ideas, the occasional rebellious rant and plenty of questions you might find yourself thinking about long after you've closed your inbox.
No pretending you've got everything figured out. No pressure to become a completely different woman by next Thursday.
Just thoughtful conversations about the things we're finally giving ourselves permission to question.
Free. Unapologetic. Straight to your inbox.
You've spent enough of your life being who you were supposed to be.
What would happen if you started deciding for yourself?
You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to be fearless, perfectly confident or ready to turn your entire life upside down.
You can simply start by questioning one rule you've been living by.
And see where that takes you.
