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My Journey To Playing Big - Chapter One - So it begins

You might have heard me talking about one book I read in 2018… but let me tell you about about the other one which has had a massive impact on my life. Playing Big, by Tara Mohr. It was recommended by my wonderful Grow Your Psychology Practice Coach - Wendy Kendall. The strap-line is "A Practical Guide for Brilliant Women Like You".

So I read this book and got the audible version too as Tara has such a calming, wise voice. (And I kept buying copies for the brilliant women in my life). It helped. It eased me further along the terrified-brave line.

I loved it so much, I thought I would take the Playing Big Facilitators Training so I could incorporate the playing bigger methodology into my coaching practice. As I struggle when I see so many awesome women doubting their brilliance and playing small. So I set up a direct debit and paid for the programme - which wasn’t cheap.

It was due to start in October 2018, and pretty much the same week, I split with my husband. So I missed a couple of weeks, promising myself I would catch up on repeat. I never did. I think there was a mixture of not being in the best place personally, a rather aggressive inner critic and a seasonal slump in energy and mood as the nights get darker and the weather gets chillier. It was always at the point of having to put our learnings into action, on the practice calls when I made my excuses and didn't attend.

So, I totally beat myself up for not completing the course as it would have totally benefitted me, both personally and professionally! Luckily for me, alumni could attend the course again for free. I signed up to do it in 2019 and the same thing happened - I attend a couple and then as October rolled into November my energy slumped and my inner critic shouted up again. More self-flagellation followed!!

Then the rollercoaster that is 2020 rolls around, and if people needed to learn how to play bigger - it is now! Because we need more people who can rise up and lead with love in this world.

So I’ve signed up to complete the course. And two things have happened - the times of the training calls have changed, they are much earlier in the evening - which helps with energy. Also, I have recognised that perhaps I have a problem with the lack of light and cold of the winter. I have been reading lots about Seasonal Affective Disorder and picking the brains of the wonderful Neina Sheldon, founder of Lightopia. I have bought a sunshine lamp, know the importance of eating better, more nutritious food and getting outside!

I have asked my family to help me and ensure that I have the time and space to do this. I have made the promise to myself that I will attend all the sessions live. There is no watching on repeat - as I know I won’t do this. I will complete this programme and incorporate Tara’s teaching into my work.

I will reflect on my learning in this series of blog posts.

I will do this.

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