How laughter, tears, and sisterhood outshine even the smartest technology.

This week, my business coach asked me a fascinating question:

And I wish I had recorded my answer, because it came straight from my gut and my heart.

Here’s what I said - and what I truly believe. (I’m paraphrasing, because my impromptu TED talk was sadly not recorded!)

I wrote Good Girl Deprogramming. I lead groups. I hold spaces where women can explore, unravel and rebuild. But I didn’t deprogramme myself on my own.

I did it in community - surrounded by other women doing the work too.

If I stripped back everything I teach - the models, the frameworks, the exercises - and only kept the community piece, the women would still transform. I see the power in my corporate work AND in my public programmes.

Because when women gather, when we give each other permission to show up as our beautiful, messy, contradictory selves - to laugh, cry, celebrate, moan, question, and be witnessed - the healing begins.

That’s when deprogramming happens.

The Day I Was Reminded Why Community Matters

On the very same day my coach asked me that question, I hosted a gathering of a community that my beautiful friend Elizabeth started during the pandemic - a space she created simply to help us stay connected when the world felt uncertain and far apart.

Elizabeth was one of those rare souls who seemed to have endless capacity for love and connection. Someone said it perfectly that day:

She truly was, a collector of people, a powerful force of care and humour who defied medical expectations by living as long as she did.

Devastatingly, she is no longer with us. But we could not let her community die with her. So, for the first time since her passing, we gathered.

We laughed, we cried, we met the baby who had been born while we were grieving.

And in that circle of love and remembrance, we decided: we’re going to keep meeting.

Because we need this.

Because community is life.

Because connection heals.

And it was from this community that my Good Girl work was conceived. And Elizabeth, I am forever grateful to you for inviting me in.

AI Can’t Do That

AI can be a brilliant mirror. It can offer knowledge, prompts, and even companionship in some ways. But it can’t see you. It can’t sit beside you in your pain or your joy.

It can’t hold your hand when you’re confronting shame or laugh with you when you realise you’ve said “sorry” for the tenth unnecessary time that morning.

Deprogramming the Good Girl isn’t about logic - it’s about connection.

It’s about reclaiming the parts of us that were silenced, hidden, or shamed. And that can only truly happen when we are seen and held by others who understand.

Why Community Is at the Heart of Deprogramming

The Good Girl Deprogramming book and workshops were designed for women to do this work together.

In the book, I even write that it’s not meant to be read alone, that real deprogramming happens when women “gather their crew” and talk about it, debate it, and share their stories.

Because isolation is a huge part of the problem.

Patriarchy and white-supremacist capitalism thrive on division and disconnection. They keep us small by keeping us separate.

But when women connect, truly connect, something powerful happens. We start to see the patterns clearly. We begin to trust ourselves again.

And we remember that we’re not broken - the system is.

We Are Each Other’s Medicine

Every time one woman shrugs off her Good Girl Conditioning, to say no, to love herself, to tell something or someone she’s no longer available to be exploited, she gives permission for another woman to do the same.

That’s the magic of community - the ripples of courage and authenticity spreading from one heart to another.

So, to answer my coach’s question again:

I’m not worried about AI.

Because AI can’t replace the alchemy of women in circle - the laughter through tears, the collective “me too”, the shared sigh of recognition.

That’s what heals us.

That’s what changes the world.

That’s the power of community.

Your Invitation

If you’ve felt the pull while reading this - that quiet voice saying “I need this too” - listen to it.

Grab a copy of Good Girl Deprogramming.

Gather your friends, your sisters, your colleagues - your crew.

Read it together.

Laugh, cry, question, and grow side by side.

Because this work was never meant to be done alone.

And together, we are unstoppable.

And if you’re raising girls or working with young women, I’ve got something special coming soon - our next book, Good Girl Deprogramming: The Girls’ Edition.

You can sign up to the waitlist here to be the first to know when it’s released: good-girl-deprogramming.kit.com/girls-edition.

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