Happy Book Birthday, Good Girl Deprogramming❤️

Two Years On: Reflections on a Movement in the Making

It’s been two years since I released Good Girl Deprogramming into the world - a book I wrote from a place of rage, research, and radical hope. I wrote it to name the invisible systems that condition women to behave, comply, and stay small. I wrote it to start a rebellion.

And I wasn’t sure anyone would read it.

But here we are, two years later, and the ripples are still growing.

I know this because people tell me their stories. They message me to say they left the job that was crushing them. Or the relationship. Or the habit of saying “yes” when they meant “no.” Some took themselves on cruises instead of doing what was expected.

Some stopped doing their nails, stopped apologising so much, started saying “fuck it” a little more freely. Those tiny acts of defiance? They’re absolutely everything. They’re how liberation begins.

Book Launch Party - November 2023

From Concept to Connection

There’s nothing quite like standing on a stage, talking to a room full of women, and watching the penny drop - that moment when they see it. The system. The pattern. The name for the thing they’ve always felt but couldn’t articulate. That’s been the most powerful part of this journey - witnessing people reclaim their understanding of what’s been done to them, and what’s still possible for them.

Because Good Girl Conditioning isn’t just in our behaviours, it’s in our bodies, our voices, our relationships, our media, our internal dialogue. It’s the stories we were told about what makes a woman “good,” and the consequences we were taught would follow if we dared to be something else.

Deprogramming Myself

This journey hasn’t just changed others - it’s changed me. Personally, I’ve dropped so many of the roles that once felt non-negotiable: the Rescuer, the Pleaser, the Perfectionist. I’ve built boundaries I didn’t think were possible. I’ve learned that I’m not here to fix or save anyone - and that trying to do so only disempowers them and me. I’m learning to hold my own centre.

I am, quite delightfully, a bit more of an asshole now - in the best possible way.

I’ve let go of the need to be liked, to be approved of, to be palatable. I know now that I will be judged no matter what I do - so I may as well be judged for doing what I actually want to do.

What I Feared… and What I Found

I’ll admit: the launch terrified me. I was braced for pitchforks - clinical psychologists calling me out, men trolling me online, the British Psychological Society revoking my membership for daring to write outside the box.

None of that happened.

Instead, I found warmth. Curiosity. Solidarity. Even the men (especially neurodivergent men) told me they found resonance and relief in these pages. That’s when I realised: this work is bigger than me. It’s not just a book. It’s a movement.

And it’s only just beginning.

Still Growing, Still Surprising

What’s surprised me most? That people are still reading it. I haven’t done a hard push. I haven’t had a marketing machine. But the book keeps rippling - finding its way into book clubs, workshops, workplaces, WhatsApp chats between sisters and best mates. It’s growing because women are ready. And so am I.

The work has evolved into workshops, diagnostics, leadership programmes, and most excitingly - a new path forward: training and developing more Good Girl Deprogrammers. I’ve realised that this isn’t something I want to scale - it’s something I have to. Because the liberation of women isn’t a niche issue. It’s the undercurrent of everything.

Redefining Success

If you’d asked me what success looked like two years ago, I might’ve said “just getting the book published.” Now I see something much bigger. I see a growing community of women doing the work. I see open cohorts full of powerful conversations. I see a five-year plan (yes, we’ve done the numbers) that includes more organisations, more facilitators, more systems-changing conversations.

I see women remembering who the fuck they are.

The Most Important Lesson

If I had to boil everything down to one thing? Self-love.

It wasn’t something I emphasised enough in the book, but it’s become blindingly clear to me that without a foundation of worthiness, we can’t truly deprogramme. Without love - real, embodied, grounded self-love - we’ll keep striving, fixing, rescuing, pleasing. We’ll keep outsourcing our power.

That’s why I’m throwing myself into learning even more - taking a year-long training in love, sex, and relationship coaching. Not to coach people on those things specifically, but to deepen this work at the root. Because that’s where the change really sticks: in our nervous systems, in our boundaries, in our sense of enoughness.

For the Women Just Starting

If you’re just beginning this journey, I won’t lie to you - this work is confronting. It’s not some positive affirmations and a couple of power poses. It’s messy. It’s painful. It can feel like ripping off layers of skin. But you don’t have to do it all at once. You don’t have to do it alone. In fact, please don’t.

Gather the women.

Do the work together. Rage and laugh and cry and learn together. Share the book. Start a gang. Take the quiz. Talk about what it brings up. Because healing doesn’t happen in isolation - it happens in community.

What’s Next

My mission now is to train, nurture and develop a global crew of Good Girl Deprogrammers - women who can take this work into their own circles, communities, organisations. This is how we scale. Not by selling a brand. By lighting many fires.

Because liberating women liberates everyone. When we peel off the masks, when we speak without apology, when we live without shame, we change the story - for our daughters, our sons, our workplaces, and our world.

This work isn’t done. But it’s happening. And it’s growing. And I am, finally, exactly where I need to be.

Join us ❤️

P.S.: Good Girl Deprogramming for Girls - a brand-new book for 10–14 year olds, accompanied by a caregiver companion, is out on January 16, 2026.

Want to help the next generation spot the BS earlier than we did? Sign up here - be the first to hear when it’s available.

Also, there’s a brand-new Good Girl Roles Diagnostic, designed to help you uncover which roles you’re still playing. Take the quiz and start unravelling your programming, one role at a time: take the quiz

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