Do you want to feel like you have your shit together?
Because I do.
Do I know anyone who has their shit together 100% of the time?
Do I know people who *look* like they have their shit together?
People who have flawless social media accounts of them living such a perfect life, being all successful, having the most wonderful relationships and money to buy all the stuff. Living such a blessed life.
I call BS.
If you feel you have to portray this life full of perfection, all the time, there’s probably something wrong.
But all these toxic messages of success are damaging.
You see these images and compare yourself and your life to them. You don’t have the ‘success’, money, stuff… and it evokes feelings of envy, of jealousy, of pain, of not being enough. Not being successful enough, not being rich enough, skinny enough, pretty (or handsome) enough…
But you are comparing your insides to someone else’s outsides.
You can’t know the pain they have, the doubts, the insecurities, the big things in their lives. They don’t share that. They only share perfection. Their insta-perfect world.
I totally fell for it. I believed that I wasn’t successful, rich or skinny enough. I thought I had to hide my true self. I had to be a good mum, employee, friend, partner, sister, daughter, human. A good girl.
I learned that being ‘high maintenance’ was a bad thing, and being independent was a good thing. All those years masking my struggles to fit in, to not cause a fuss. Pretending that everything was good. That I was fine.
All those years of not admitting I found life really bloody difficult. Of wondering how the bloody hell people managed to easily purchase car insurance without having a meltdown, went into Subway and easily made all those decisions about bread, filling, cheese, salad and added extras without wanting to scream. And listening to all those ways you ‘should’ be a good human. All that conflicting ‘advice’.
All those years of not realising that I had ADHD and that some aspects of life were tricky.
It’s been almost 11 years since Brene Brown’s TED talk exploded into the world and got us talking about vulnerability. The video has been watched by tens of millions of people.
Why is vulnerability still a dirty word?
Why is everyone still wearing masks?
Pretending they have their shit together.
Acting like they know what is going on.
Putting on a performance.
Not asking for help.
Not showing the world their true selves.
Brene teaches us that leadership requires admitting what you don't know instead of pretending to know everything.
I have spent years working on myself, learning, growing. Trying to figure me out. Understand what I want. And trying to figure out how I can best navigate the world.
And what has all this work taught me? One belief that has not changed. We are all winging it. Making things up as we go along.
And admitting that has got to be celebrated.