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  • Writer's pictureMichelle Minnikin

The fear of being visible

Why am I so scared of being visible?

Because being invisible is safe.

Our brain is so good at keeping us safe. Of course it is. It is how we have survived for so long as a species. We want to remain safe, in our comfort zone. Feeling "meh" is better than being scared.

We have been brought up to behave, conform, blend in, be productive, through all our years of factory schooling. We were not taught how to think differently, think critically, innovate, be brave, be bold.

I also think being female is also a problem. (Yes, as a white woman, I recognise my privilege). I have seen women torn apart by critics, tabloids, social media trolls. It was only last week I saw my friend being “corrected” on her use of a word on a post she had written. It filled me with rage. Is this what visibility is? Being targeting by dickheads?

I’ve been too scared to be too visible. I didn’t want to attract too much attention. But why should the fear of criticism be holding me back? Why should it prevent me from saying what I want to say? Do I have to be a “good girl”? And not offend or displease anyone? Is that even possible?

I have goals and a dream for my life that involves a level of visibility. So I need to push out of my safe space, risk being vulnerable and start speaking my truth. And using my voice to try and change the world to bring good and happiness.

I am not serving the world by being good, quiet, safe in my comfort zone.

If my words help one person to be braver or make a bold decision, it will be so worth it. Because dickheads who want to criticise will always be there. I can choose to ignore/delete/block or even engage. I can choose how I react. I refuse to give them power.

I would rather be happy than safe. What about you?

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