I've heard from several readers now who have shared that they have a copy of Good Girl Deprogramming, but are scared to start reading it. And I have said to them that it’s perfectly normal to feel apprehensive about diving into a book that promises to challenge deeply ingrained beliefs and societal expectations.
I want to acknowledge those fears, let you know you're certainly not alone, and offer some practical tips to help you begin this transformative journey with confidence and support.
Starting a book like Good Girl Deprogramming can bring up a range of emotions. Some common fears include -
Fear of judgement - worrying that the book might be too critical or judgmental.
Fear of change - anxiety about what personal revelations might arise and how they could impact your life.
Fear of vulnerability - concern about facing deeply ingrained behaviours and beliefs.
These fears are valid and understandable. However, they also stem from some misconceptions about the book’s intent and approach. Because I was worrying too about those things as I was writing it. Because there’s nothing worse than a judgy, sanctimonious book, telling you what to do, am I right?
The book’s purpose and approach
Good Girl Deprogramming is designed to be a supportive guide, not a harsh critique. Its purpose is to help you recognise and release societal and self imposed expectations that can hold us back and harm us. The approach is gentle, compassionate, and empowering. Each chapter provides insights, practical exercises, and reflective questions to help you navigate your personal journey at your own pace. There are many funny bits too.
Rather than imposing change, the book encourages self-awareness and self-compassion. It recognises the courage it takes to confront and deprogram long-held beliefs, offering reassurance and support every step of the way. I am NOT here to replace your Good Girl Conditioning with Michelle’s Conditioning, because that would be frankly ridiculous.
I wrote Good Girl Deprogramming to be read with other women who can support and uplift each other through this journey. So consider forming or joining a reading group where you can share experiences, insights, and encouragement. These connections can be invaluable, offering a network of support as you navigate your path to self-discovery and empowerment.
Practical steps to start your journey
To help you begin, here are some practical steps:
1. Set your intention - before you begin, take a moment to reflect on why you want to deprogramme your 'good girl' mindset. Write down your goals and what you hope to achieve through this journey.
2. Create a comfortable reading space - find a quiet, comfortable space where you can read and reflect without interruptions. This will help you stay focused and relaxed as you delve into the book. I am laughing as I write this, because as a mum writing this in the summer holidays - do we ever have time/space quiet?
3. Start with small, consistent steps - rather than trying to read large sections at once, start with small, consistent steps. Aim to read a chapter or section each day and allow time for reflection.
Engage with the reflective exercises
Good Girl Deprogramming is designed to be interactive, with exercises and questions to help you engage deeply with the content.
Here are a few reflective exercises to get you started:
Identify your 'Good Girl' triggers - reflect on situations where you feel the pressure to conform to 'good girl' expectations. Write down these triggers and explore how they make you feel and why.
Challenge limiting beliefs - take a belief you hold about yourself (e.g., "I must always be nice") and question its validity. Ask yourself, "Is this belief serving me?" and "What would happen if I let it go?"
Practice self-compassion - Write a compassionate letter to yourself, acknowledging your efforts and reminding yourself that it's okay to prioritise your own needs and desires.
Take the process at your own pace and seek support
Deprogramming long-held beliefs is a deeply personal and often challenging process. It’s important to remember -
Go at your own pace - there’s no rush. Seriously. Take the time you need to absorb the content and reflect on your experiences. Everyone’s journey is unique, and it’s okay to move slowly.
Seek support - If you find the process overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek support. This could be from a trusted friend, a therapist, a support group, or me ;-). Sharing your journey with others can provide comfort and encouragement.
Celebrate your progress - acknowledge and celebrate each step forward, no matter how small. Every bit of progress is a victory on your journey to becoming your authentic self.
My Wish for You
As you start this journey, my greatest wish for you is -
You’re able to be your wonderful, weird, authentic self without fear of what anyone else thinks.
You are able to live your life free from fear and self-doubt.
You enjoy playing bigger in your work and life.
You have firm boundaries and look after your own needs.
You know what brings you joy and are bringing more play into your world.
Starting your Good Girl Deprogramming journey is a courageous and empowering step.
By following these practical steps, finding your supportive women to do the work with, engaging with the reflective exercises, and taking the process at your own pace, you'll be well on your way to breaking free from limiting beliefs and embracing your true self.
And remember, you don’t have to do it alone – there are so many women out there who have your back every step of the way.
Me included.
Much love x
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